


In Real Life

by Islandida



Series: Love in Lockdown [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:21:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28901811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Islandida/pseuds/Islandida
Summary: Sandor and Sansa have been video calling and talking ever since the Lockdown began. During the weeks that followed their connection grew stronger as they shared a lot of personal things with each other. There were som ups and downs but they both have started to feel very strongly about each other. Could this connection go beyond just an online connection? Will there strong bond grow or diminish when faced with the real world? In order for them to find out they have to take a chance.It's time for them to meet in real life
Relationships: Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark
Series: Love in Lockdown [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093739
Comments: 31
Kudos: 125





	In Real Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is the continuation of Accepting Video Call.

He had barely slept the whole weekend. He wasn’t accustomed to going without sleep for long periods of time, it was standard during his army days. So he knew that the lack of sleep wasn’t the reason for his exhaustion. What was bothering, and keeping him from sleeping, was how he had treated Sansa. She hadn’t deserved the way he had lashed out and he knew he needed to apologise.

It had taken him days to work up the nerve, days of trying to figure out how to go about it but also knowing that the reason every idea he came up with felt wrong was because he was scared. Scared of her throwing it back in his face, scared of the possibility that she wouldn't want to talk to him.

He had decided that the best course of action was to text her his apology. It was perhaps cowardly but he couldn’t make himself call her, his insecurities screaming at him that she would reject him. He hadn’t expected her to respond since it had been in the middle of the night and then hearing her voice, raw and heavy with sleep had made his heart ache.

He had missed her, someone he had never actually met but somehow had become probably the most important person in his life. Hearing her reaction and her being so understanding had made him angry at himself. He had made her feel guilty over his failings and having her tell him that she understood and that she was okay with not meeting, for his sake, made him feel dumbstruck. The thought of meeting her had scared him, because how could she ever actually want him in her real life? He was nobody, a scarred fuck up with too many issues to count. Yet the thought of never meeting her, of being her friend in that capacity, made his stomach drop and had a deep ache settle deep in his chest. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had stared out at the lake, illuminated by the moonlight, after their call had ended but at some point he had made a decision. He needed to pull himself out of the solitary hole he had dug for himself. He didn’t want to be lonely anymore, not now that he knew how different his life could be with just a piece of someone in it. Having more of that? More of that warmth and kindness that was Sansa? He wanted it desperately and somehow that outweighed the fear of rejection because it was scarrier to think about his life without her then taking the chance of having so much more of her in it.

He hadn’t exactly made a plan of action, he had only realised that he needed to take action quickly. That’s how he found himself walking into the Stark Industries building just before lunch and realised that he had to find her in this huge building.

He figured his best bet was to just head up towards the HR floor and hope she would still be there. He could feel the security officer at the front desk stare after him but he was wearing his Stark employee badge and Stranger was wearing his Service Dog vest. 

“Okay, we got this buddy. Right?” Sandor said as the elevator climbed towards the higher floors. Stranger huffed and pressed his side into Sandor’s leg and he took the support gladly. His nerves were making his chest feel heavy and as the elevator doors opened with a ding he had to force himself to step through them.

The offices were mostly empty and the few people he saw there he barely threw more than a glance. Because none one of them was her. A part of him worried that he had missed her, she might have left for an early lunch. He would have no one to blame but himself if that was the case since he hadn’t told her that he was coming.

He was walking down a corridor when Stranger suddenly sped up and walked ahead of him. Sandor called to him but the dog walked through a doorway without listening and Sandor grumbled a curse beneath his breath when he heard a startled gasp. He was prepared for getting yelled at for the intrusion but as he stepped through the doorway after his dog that didn’t happen. What happened was that he was struck by the sight of Sansa hugging his dog. She was wearing a floral mask that covered half her face but there was no doubt that it was her. He knew her not only by the fiery red hair but also by the large blue eyes that widened as she finally noticed him in the doorway.

“Hi Sansa…” He took a step closer, choosing to ignore the curious stares of her coworkers and only focused on her. She was still on her knees with her arms around Stranger and Sandor didn’t know what to say or do know. He hadn’t thought further then this and actually seeing her, in real life, made him feel like he should have planned something, anything. Instead he just stood there staring down at her. 

“I… Hi,” She stuttered out as she got to her feet and Stranger looked from Sansa to Sandor and back again with a happy bark. “What… Hi.”

Even though she was wearing the mask he could make out the tinting of her cheeks as the blush traveled down her neck and it made him feel a little less nervous. It also helped that she didn’t look angry or annoyed with him for just showing up. Her blue eyes held his and it centred him to see the softness there that he had gotten attached too.

“I… I was wondering if you’d like to get some lunch?” he heard himself ask and he figured that was a good next step. They could go somewhere and talk, if it was just the two of them perhaps this unsettling feeling in his gut would go away.

“Oh… I… Yes,” she said and he could tell that she was still shocked by his appearance and he couldn’t blame her for it. He had caught her off guard after all. “Wait, I am having lunch with my dad today.”

Sandor felt his heart sink and he could have kicked himself for not letting her know he was coming. But he knew why he hadn’t, he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her in case he wasn’t able to go through with it.

“I see…” he said and he wasn’t sure what else he could do but leave again. Before he could she took a step towards him and he had to fight the urge to reach out and touch her. She was so close and he had imagined holding her in his arms too many times to count. 

“I’ll just text him and explain that I have been double booked,” Sansa said quickly, making his heart jump in his chest. She was choosing him and the impact of that made him feel almost light headed.

“No need.” Sandor turned around towards the man’s voice and saw Ned Stark standing in the doorway looking at them with a curious glint in his grey eyes. “Clegane.”

“Stark,” he answered back and in the corner of his eye Sandor saw Stranger turn his head in curiosity and before he could say no to the dog he hurried over to the sharp dressed man. Sandor had only met Ned Stark once before, since he mostly dealt with Robb Stark and then the lower building managers but the impression he had gotten was that the man was stern and no nonsense. So seeing him lean down to reach his hand out towards the large dog and the way his face split into a huge grin when Stranger bopped his head against it took Sandor off guard.

“Well who is this handsome fellow?” Stark asked and Sansa stepped past Sandor in order to walk up to her father. As she passed he caught the scent of something floral and citrusy and his mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that it was her he was smelling. That she was really here with him.

“This is Stranger.” Sansa said with a softness that made Sandor’s heart clench and Ned patted the dogs head before nodding.

“Well I see that you have nicer company for lunch today so let’s reschedule for tomorrow?” Ned offered and Sansa gave him what looked like a relieved smile. He smiled at his daughter and when he turned his attention towards Sandor he offered a firm nod before leaving. Sandor wasn’t sure what the nod was supposed to mean but at least the man wasn’t outright against him.

“I know a café just two blocks away that makes really good food,” Sansa said, drawing his attention back to the fact that he had actually asked her to lunch. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to eat anything, which was the biggest sign of his nerves if anything. He only managed to nod and followed her down the hall.

Stranger walked between them with a happy look on his face and Sandor tried to figure out what to say to her. He knew he needed to say something, he couldn’t just be silent like an idiot. But for some reason he couldn’t come up with anything to say, they had spent so much time talking and he had felt comfortable then but for some reason the heavy silence between them made him unable to come up with anything.

The elevator ride was almost painful with how quiet it was and it made Sandor worry that he had made the wrong choice in coming here. He should have talked to her first, should have made plans. That way he would have been more prepared and could have actually thought about what he was going to say to her.

He couldn’t help but question the whole thing, what had he been thinking? Sansa had said that she wanted them to meet but what if she regretted it now? He was fucking it up, she probably wished that she could take the whole thing back. Why would she want to be seen with him anyway? He couldn’t even make small talk, like a normal fucking person. He felt the anxiety well up in his chest, making it hard to breath and Stranger whimpered and scratched at his leg. 

“Sandor…” her voice was soft and hesitant but it cut through his anxiety enough for him to turn his head to look down at her. She pushed that gorgeous hair behind her ear and looked up at him with that softness to her eyes again. “I’m really glad you came.”

He wasn’t sure if she had been able to tell that he was spirling or if she just felt like telling him but he instantly felt lighter, because he knew she wouldn’t just say things like that unless she meant it. It made him wish he could take her hand, just to truly feel like she was there with him but he knew that with everything going on that it wasn’t a good idea. And a part of him worried that she wouldn’t want him to.

He followed her out the elevator and as she walked through the lobby she stopped by the security desk and the way the man lit up made Sandor raise his eyebrow.

“Hey Jory!” she said in that happy voice that made everything sound much sweeter and the man’s eyes darted to Sandor who waited a few steps away. “Sandor and I are headed to Missandei’s for lunch. Do you want us to get you anything?”

“Thank Sansa but your dad called just a minute ago about ordering some thai food for us so I’m good.” Sandor couldn’t hide his surprise at the fact that the CEO of Stark Industries was having lunch with security. Sansa didn’t react as if it was something out of the ordinary, instead she just nodded and continued out of the door, giving Sandor no choice but to follow.

“Jory is the head of security and has been working here for years,” Sansa said as if she knew he was wondering. “Him and my dad have been friends for as long as I can remember.” 

That surprised Sandor but if anything he should have known at this point that Stark Industries weren’t like other companies. Sansa was so fucking special and even if that was all her he couldn’t help but think that her kindness and genuin care for others must come from somewhere and why not her family? Perhaps that was the kind of person you became if you had a loving family? As he watched her walk next to him he felt pretty sure that there weren’t a lot of people like her in the world, there was only one Sansa and she was there with him.

The cafe she took him to wasn’t that big but as they opened the doors it smelled amazing and despite his earlier nerves Sandor felt his stomach react to the smells. There were only a few tables in there since they had to be kept at a safe distance but thankfully several were empty. Sandor figured most people took their food to go due to the pandemic. 

The walls were a mix of different coloured bricks and the long counter was all wood, looking vintage and the tables and chairs were all miss matched but somehow worked with the aesthetic. 

“Hi Missandei!” Sansa called as she stepped up to the counter where a woman with big dark hair stood and despite her face being covered by a mask Sandor could tell by the way her eyes lit up that she was smiling from ear to ear to see Sansa.

“Hi Sansa! And Sansa’s friend!” Missandei called back and Sandor nodded to her. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too, how are you?” The other woman assured her everything was well and Sandor hoped that the pleasantries were over with so that he could be alone with Sansa. “So Sandor and I are starving, what’s today’s lunch special?”

“We have a Naathi stew with bread.” Sansa turned to Sandor expectantly and although he had never eaten any food from Naath he nodded because it didn’t really matter what they ate. 

“That sounds great. Oh, and two coffees, please.” Missandei nodded and before Sansa had the chance to object Sandor paid for them both. He was relieved when she didn’t argue with him and only thanked him before she headed to a corner table. She chose a table by the window with a view of the street which worried Sandor until he noticed that she picked the chair facing the window, allowing him to sit with his back towards it. He should have known she would know what he was thinking without saying it, she had always seemed to be able to before.

They had barely sat down before Missandei came up with their coffees and as she headed back towards the counter Sandor realised that he was going to have to take his mask off. In front of Sansa for the first time in person and the thought of it made his stomach cleanse. He knew that she had seen his scars before but it was a different thing seeing them this upclose compared to on the other side of a screen. What if she were disgusted by him? Or worse, what if she tried to act like it didn’t bother her but he would be able to tell with the way she would avoid looking at him. Everyone did that and it fucking sucked.

He held his breath as Sansa pulled her own mask off and she gave him a shy smile that had his heart jumping. She was so god damn beautiful. He had thought so from day one but seeing her like this, so close, he could take in all of the details of her face. The way her eyes had lighter speckles of blue and how her cheeks and the bridge of her nose had light dustings of freckles across them. Freckles he imagined became more prominent during the summer. His fingers twitched to reach out and touch her cheeks when they turned light pink and the way her eyes darted down to her hands on the table made him hopeful that the blush came from his admiration of her.

“Sansa…” He said her name again, because he could and when her eyes darted back up to him he sighed heavily. Her brow scrunched in concern and there was a split second where he wondered if he was imagining the sudden weight on his hand. His eyes darted down and widened in disbelief when he saw Sansa’s hand resting on top of his.

“It’s okay Sandor,” she said softly and then her eyes widened suddenly, as if she realised what she had done. “Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you without asking first… I…”

The panic that welled up in his chest then wasn’t because of her touch but because she was pulling her hand away. Without thinking his fingers closed around hers and the smile she bestowed on him then was beaming. Sandor wasn’t sure when the last time he simply held someone’s hand was but he was certain it had never felt so good or so right as it felt in that moment, holding hers. When her other hand came to rest on his wrist it sent a warmth through his chest that had him reaching up and removing his mask. He watched her carefully for her reaction and he saw that her eyes widened slightly as they traveled across the ruined side of his face but they didn’t lose their softness. Her hands squeezed his and when her eyes came back to his she smiled and he felt like he could breathe again. She wasn’t looking away, she was looking right at him without a hint of hesitation. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she asked and he knew he couldn’t tell her that he hadn’t because he didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t been sure he would have been able to go through with it. She would know how fucked up he was then.

“I hadn’t made up my mind until this morning,” he said instead, which wasn’t a lie. “How was your first day back so far?”

He knew the change of subject was probably a bad attempt at trying to move the subject away from his failings but she was graceful enough not to comment on it.

“It was alright, so far. Got increasingly better around lunch time.” She blushed slightly and he couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips. “Honestly, it’s a little weird being back with all the restrictions and only half of the department there at the same time.”

“Is the asshole there too?” He asked, feeling suddenly concerned but Sansa shook her head.

“He works the other week for now so we don’t interact but he emails and calls so it’s inevitable. I was thinking about talking with my coworkers about his behaviour.” She looked hesitant and he felt the need to squeeze her fingers lightly as an encouragement. “Well, how have you been?”

“I… I’ve missed you,” he heard himself admit and with the way her face lit up he didn’t even regret it. “I was an asshole.”

“Hey, no. We already went over that,” she said sternly and his heart rate increased as her fingers caressed the inside of his wrist. “Just promise you will try to tell me when you start feeling anxious or overwhelmed instead of shutting down.”

“I’ll try,” he promised and he felt fairly certain that he would agree to anything if she kept touching him the way she did. He was probably incredibly touch starved but the simple act of her holding his hand made him feel almost high from endorphins. He wasn’t used to such innocent but tender touches. He had imagined holding her hand or holding her close and it hadn’t felt even an inkling as good as holding her hand like this. 

He had been with women, mostly drunk interactions, and they had never held his hand or caressed his skin with such tenderness as Sansa and he wasn’t sure what he had done to deserve it. He could only be grateful that she found him worthy of her attention at all.

“Here you guys go,” Missandei said as she put down two bowls in front of them that had a deep yellow coloured stew and bread that smelled like rosemary and thyme. She winked at Sansa before she walked away and Sansa’s cheeks flushed bright red.

She pulled her hands away and he couldn’t help but feel his mood drop at the loss of them. He needed to get a grip and he figured the best way was to focus on his food. It was amazing, probably the best vegetarian dish he had ever eaten and as they ate Sansa told him about the work she was doing helping people to slowly get back to work. He once again was struck by how compassionate she was and how she truly wanted to help others. He just hoped no one took advantage of her kindness, people had the ability to prey on the kind. 

“Have you heard if you are going back to work soon?” she asked and he shrugged.

“It doesn’t seem to be on the agenda for now,” he answered as he grabbed another piece of bread and used it to scoop up the last of the stew. “I guess they are waiting to see how things play out. It’s hard to restrict the number of people on a construction site.”

“I suppose it would,” she said and Sandor caught how she reached down to offer Stranger some bread. He gave her a pointed look and she blushed but didn’t seem remorseful. “What? The poor sweetie was hungry.”

Sandor only hummed in response but couldn’t keep in the smile even though he tried. Sansa gave him a pleased smile before giving Stranger another piece of bread. 

“So, do all of the Starks work at Stark Industries?” He asked in hopes of keeping her talking and Sansa shook her head.

“It’s just me and Robb for now but Bran is studying to become an architect and will probably come work there after graduation. He interned at the company and was actually a part of making the plans for the affordable housing project you are building.” Sandor’s brow furrowed as he took in the new information and then his eyes widened with realisation.

“Bran? Skinny kid with glasses and eyes that seem to take in everything? Scarily smart?” Sansa nodded and he knew they were both thinking the same thing but not saying it. _The kid in the wheelchair._ “Yeah, I met him several times. He had a freakishly good memory for building codes.”

“Yeah, that’s him. He’s always been able to remember things after just reading about them once,” Sansa said and the look on her face was proud.

“What about your sister?” he asked and she shook her head. “Does she work for your mother’s charity then?”

“Oh gods no! They’d kill each other within two days,” Sansa said with a laugh but it only made Sandor frown. He understood that she was just joking but it put a heavy feeling in his stomach because it reminded him that he had yet to tell her how he got his scars. “Arya is a tattoo artist. Really great too. She has a tattoo studio with her boyfriend Gendry.”

“Waters?” He couldn’t help but move his hand to scratch at his arm where his most recent tattoo was. “From The Bull and The Wolf Tattoos?” 

“That’s them!” Sansa exclaimed happily and Sandor couldn’t help but wonder that despite the world being so big they had been destined to meet. It seemed like he had enough run ins with the other Starks for it to be the case. He was just glad he had the chance to know Sansa. “Did Gendry tattoo you?”

Sandor nodded and when her eyes prodded him silently he caved and folded the arm of his sleeve up to his elbow to show her the tattoo on the inside of his forearm. She had probably seen it before, when they talked over video chat but she had never seen it this up close and he held his breath when her fingers traced the lines of it. It was one of his smaller pieces, all in black and white with the silhouette of a girl and a dog walking down a path, a sunset illuminating them. 

Sansa’s eyes darted up to look at him as her fingers lingered over the girl and he knew she deserved an answer to the question he knew for sure she was asking inside her head.

“My sister, Eleanor.” When her hand moved down to hold his he knew that she had understood that it was a remembrance tattoo and he was grateful when she didn’t try to push him to talk about what had happened to her.

“It’s beautiful,” she simply said and he could only nod as he squeezed her hand in gratefulness. She was such a wonder of a woman, so kind despite him not being sure he deserved her kindness. He figured he should leave that up to her to decide.

“Arya has been trying to convince me for years to let her tattoo me, she wants to do my first one. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I already have one.” Sandor couldn’t keep in a small chuckle then and the mood thankfully felt lighter again.

“I can’t believe I am one of the few who actually knows your secret,” he joked and her eyes filled with such tenderness that he could almost feel it as a caress against his skin. It was an addictive feeling but also frightening because if he got used to it and then lost it he knew it would hurt like a mother fucker. 

“Sometimes I think you might be one of the few people who knows a lot of things. Who truly knows me.” The honesty seemed to take her back but with the way her eyes widened and then looked away. He didn’t want that, he appreciated her honesty more than almost anything.

“It’s the same for me,” he admitted and he knew it was no doubt about it. She was for sure the one person that knew him best, who truly knew him. And she still wanted him around, flaws and fucking all. The smile he was given then was small but warm and for a moment they just sat in silence, holding each other's hand. 

It felt great just being together like this but Sandor knew it wasn’t going to last much longer. The thought had barely crossed his mind before she looked at the time and the reluctant sigh that escaped her told him that it was time to head back to the office.

As they stepped out onto the street they walked side by side and as they walked his hand brushed hers. He couldn’t forget how good it had felt to hold her hand in the cafe and he told himself to be bold. She had taken his hand then, why couldn’t he take hers now?

Testing the water he hooked his finger around hers and at the corner of his eye he caught the way she looked down at their hands and in the next second she entwined their fingers. He was grateful for the mask he was wearing then because he imagined he looked like an idiot with a huge grin pulling at the scarred corner of his mouth. 

The silence as they walked this time was pleasant compared to the silence of the elevator ride and it relieved him that even if their first meeting might have been a bit awkward it had turned out better. When she stopped outside of the Stark building and turned towards him, her hand still holding his, he felt like it might even have turned out great. Because she was looking up at him with happy eyes and he felt the same emotion in his chest.

“Thank you for lunch. I had a really lovely time,” she said and he hummed his agreement. 

“Anytime,” he grumbled out and her eyes widened slightly before she seemed to pull back her surprise.

“Yeah?” He had meant it because he would really like to see her again. He would like to see her a lot more but he didn’t know how to say that without sounding needy and desperate so he settled for squeezing her hand. “Can I call you tomorrow after work?”

He felt equal parts relieved and disappointed then. Relieved that she hadn’t put pressure on him to make plans for their next meeting but disappointed in the fact that he wouldn’t talk to her until the next day. It had been lonely not having dinner with her in these last few days and it sucked that he wouldn’t get to tonight either. The relief over that she still wanted to keep their connection won over and he agreed with a nod and with one final squeeze of his hand she let go and walked inside. 

The man and his dog stood outside the glassdoors for a long time watching her disappear into the elevators and once she was out of sight Stranger whined. Sandor ruffled the fur on the top of the dogs head and sighed.

“I know buddy, I want to stay with her too.”

  
  



End file.
